#1.

What if you were suggested to look through the mirror in order to see yourself but some years later? What feelings would you have? Proud? Ashamed? Respectful? Satisfied? What if when you see yourself older you will understand that expectations you had are overrated by yourself? And what’s more – nothing can be done to improve your condition. When people ask me about my future career I feel so miserable, because nothing is mistier than this. I have so many questions about my future and no one can help me to find answers. Every second I think about my future and common questions arise in my mind. ‘What if’ is the worst question in the world that makes you feel helpless.

What if you’re going the wrong way? What if you’ll never find your own path and sense of disappointment will chase you the whole life? What if you’ll never find your love and will never feel the happiness of maternity and being lovable and loved? What if you’ll never be able to realize your ambitions? I can write hundreds of thousands questions that start with this hateful ‘what if’. But it won’t relieve the tension and remove the fear.

 I’m starting now this blog. What if it won’t be successful and I am talentless? But in order to get what you’re aimed at, you have to be able to deal with the fears. And that’s the key point. Sitting in front of the TV or digging into studies is not the way to become a good writer. You have to be ready to dive deeply into your consciousness and publicly display your internal thoughts and problems.

It is impossible to be afraid of every change happening in your life. And I try to be more open, to widen the horizons of my mind.

I have been invited to the birthday party that weekend and have met a strange man (it was my first impression of him) but he’s given a great idea to reach my aim. And now I think it was a marvelous suggestion because you’ll never get the thing you desire if you be effortless. That’s the only reason I’m starting this blog. I want to let myself free.